Dangers of being nice

310 viewsPsychology

What are the dangers of being nice? 

Answered question

The problem with being too nice, —who comes off as a very nice guy—is that you’re a doormat and people take advantage of you. Nice people are too concerned about pleasing others and not making waves that they don’t stand up for themselves.

a nice man was interviewed for a book, who was vying for an executive position. The nice man was well-respected and well-liked in the company, and had a very good shot at the job. Of course, someone else was competing for the position. When the nice man was asked in an interview about his competitor, the nice guy said he thought his competitor would do a fantastic job. The nice contender wound up writing a letter of recommendation for his competitor because he didn’t want to cause a stir by vying for the executive-level job. End result: The competitor got the job, and the nice guy remained in his spot on the corporate ladder.

“The nice guy is forever putting the oxygen mask on someone else before putting it on himself,.

The Cost of Nice in Business
Being too nice is not just a problem for individuals. It’s a problem for businesses, too. Employees who are too nice cost businesses time and money.

In other words, if the CEOs’ companies had been more aggressive, they believed they could have earned more money.

notes that managers who are too nice are reluctant to make decisions on their own. They fear hurting the feelings of anyone whom they don’t ask for feedback, so they include everyone in their decision-making. That wastes time and can lead to missed opportunities.

“The overly nice guy usually defers to others. They’re reluctant to create losers,” The irony is that in the process of trying to make everyone a winner, the nice guy ends up the loser.

Managers who are too nice also avoid confrontation, They’d rather ignore problems than address them head on. Of course, ignoring problems only makes them worse, and burying one’s head in the sand does not inspire the confidence of the manager’s team or of his superiors, adds Edelman. It only inspires their ire.

“If you appease everyone, if you fear hurting people’s feelings, you do a disserve to whatever project you’re working on, to yourself and your business,” says Edelman. “That’s where being too nice is not nice at all.”

Advice for People Who Are Too Nice
Softies need to toughen up, “I’m not advocating that people become jerks or SOBs,”But they need to find a balance to stay true to their nice nature while also being appropriately assertive and protecting their interests.”

The challenge, then, for nice people is to redefine what it means to be nice, and to understand that being nice doesn’t have to mean being a doormat. You can be nice and be assertive and deal with confrontation and set boundaries, he adds.

Here are three concepts nice people need to understand to succeed at work:

1. Business is competitive. Deal with it

2. Sometimes being nice isn’t very nice at all.

3. Confrontation is not necessarily a bad thing.

Add a Comment

If I were answering this question two days ago, I’d say being nice doesn’t necessarily need to be dangerous. But I had an epiphany that made me reflect on the BS I’ve gotten just for the sake of being “nice” last night that made me cry myself to sleep. It makes me wonder if I have jerk and asshole magnet because 80% of people I’m acquainted with are insensitive jerks.
You are always around for their whimsical needs, suddenly you’re the less important one. When you complain, it makes them angry and they somehow make you feel guilty.
You share an idea with someone, they steal it and make it their own and tell people it was solely from their empty thinking  faculty and suddenly, you’re the copy cat,
You try to cheer someone up or, you call them cute or dear, genuinely ask about how they are doing, they first start giving you BS, the next thing you hear he told his friends is “she is pushing herself hard at me, she is too much to handle”. (self conceited insensitive narcissistic asshole). This one is very recent.
And just so so much more annoying things you get from nice to people that if I had magical powers, thick creeping vines would be squeezing oxygen right out of them and probably their misery and cry for help would make me smile and feel better.
Does all these stop me from being nice to people? No. In fact, it all made me realize how much we really need nice people in this world. And how much scum bags we have in this world and they shouldn’t win.

Answered question
Add a Comment

if you mean being nice like putting others first before yourself,i used to be like that till my friends turned their backs against me,i always volunteered to do things for them and at a point they almost took it as my priority,I backed out and they changed totally.If we want to be more kind and giving, we actually need to be a little LESS “nice.

Answered question
Add a Comment
Write your answer.

Advert Categories

No categories found.

QnA Categories