Home Forums GENERAL DISCUSSIONS What’s the ideal age to tell a child they are adopted

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    • #3757 Reply

      justseyi
      Keymaster

      Most times in the movies we see kids venting about being told too late or too early that they are adopted. So what do you think?

      •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3805 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      Thinking after the child has a family of his or her own… That way there’s less concern.

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      • #3806 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        left to me, when they are mature enough to know and by MATURE i don’t mean age.

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

      • #3812 Reply

        bibiiee
        Participant

        So when do you know when they are mature enough?

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      • #3814 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        That’s left for the folks to decide

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

      • #3825 Reply

        bibiiee
        Participant

        And if it doesn’t turn out the way they expected thinking they were mature enough??

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    • #3807 Reply

      cyrilo
      Participant

      Yap i agree with yhu @ justseyi …i think maturity should be d keyword there nt age..the supposed parent should knw when d child is matured enough to handle such..

    • #3813 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      Its really hard to know how one would react to that… Its a different situation that affects people differently despite maturity.

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      • #3815 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        True. But most times the immature ones (not being negative towards them) go into depression and sometimes commit suicide

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3816 Reply

      antua
      Participant

      There’s no certain maturity age for individuals. The issue of adoption is seriously tearing families apart.
      Left for me to say, a child above 18years of age should know he/she is was adopted and start living with that reality. Waiting for a more advanced stage wouldn’t be wise worse still when the child becomes an adult and discovers by himself.

    • #3817 Reply

      isaacmendez
      Participant

      its not about the age…..let’s take heed, you can tell them once you feel they are ready,they could be adults or teenagers even kids, there are children smarter than their age and understanding,,,, that’s my extrapolation

      Online Journalist

      • #3819 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        true !!!

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3818 Reply

      oludare
      Participant

      Me I personally think they know from the scratch cos once they are all grown and attached to their adoptive parent it would be heartbreaking for them.

      • #3820 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        But if this happens. Then the kid starts feeling left out over every correction.

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3823 Reply

      julietta
      Participant
      1. Personally, I think the ideal time for telling a child he was adopted is between the ages of 6-8. By this age, they’re usually well established into their family enough not to feel threatened by learning of their adoption. Plus by this age, I think they should have enough knowledge about adoption itself. Nd also, I don’t think waiting till a child is a teenager is good, as it can damage the child’s self esteem and faith in his parents.
      • #3828 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        fair point. But 6-8 years old ? That’s too young I guess.

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3826 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      Now that I’m thinking about it… The child shouldn’t be told atall I mean what’s the point?

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      • #3827 Reply

        julietta
        Participant

        @ bibiiee… But what about the contrast in physical featuresof the child and the family? The child may have been aware of it. And even other outsiders could have pointed it out. Sometimes children who look different from the rest of their family need to be assured that their parents love them and intend to keep them.

    • #3830 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      @julietta The fact that the child has been adopted and brought up right(or still in the process) in the first place is enough assurance for a reasonable child that he/she is being loved… When the child is aware of the contrast and decides to make enquiries about it then the child wants to know and if the child doesn’t ask then the child is comfortable and has absolutely no reason to want to find out. Children start having issues and need reassurance when they are not treated right.

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      • #3849 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        True !!

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3858 Reply

      iamecter
      Moderator

      For me I’ll rather not tell the child anything. No child wants to be told they are adopted. You adopted them because you made a decision to be their parent. What’s the point when they realise they are adopted? ???? if you must tell them. Tell them from scratch

      • #3878 Reply

        bibiiee
        Participant

        Exactly!!

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