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    • #3352 Reply

      mbah
      Participant

      Hi guys,

      Well I just came across this topic on this series I was watching…

      Do you tell your current partner about your dirty little secret from your past or do you hide it hoping it doesn’t haunt you in future and probably wouldn’t end your relationship?

      What’s your take?

    • #3356 Reply

      cyrilo
      Participant

      I think “trust” matters alot in this scenerio…if she is a person that i can trust,then i can tell her and she might even have a way to help me with it,but if itx the other way round,then i won’t..

    • #3358 Reply

      justseyi
      Keymaster

      Left to me. Secrets like that especially dirty ones can only by set out when the relationship is strong enough. So yes it’s wise. But be warned some dirty secrets can’t be told or your lover will leave you.

      •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3365 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      I think first knowing the person well enough is important then really keeping secrets that would probably get leaked somehow in the future is really dangerous, you don’t know whose life could be saved by letting it out. So just let it out little by little! Honesty is the best policy brah!

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      • #3367 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        If bae tells you he killed someone once…..? Though he’s changed. Would you really believe him ??

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3366 Reply

      mariam
      Participant
      1. I believe a relationship should be based on trust. When this is established then I dont think there should be a problem. Although it should be a while so that it is strong enough to take whatever your dirty little secret is. Trust me when I say tell your partner every thing you know may come back to haunt you because sooner or later, it will. If you are scared your partner may leave you, when he gets to know later on it will be worse. So just go with the flow and tell your partner.
      • #3368 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        Point taken

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3369 Reply

      hrmlordmagnus
      Participant

      My two cents is this: if you are ready to be in an exclusive relationship with your significant other. It is advisable you disclose it all, especially secrets that might affect your future with your lover.

      Unless, the undisclosed information might not affect you both. If it might haunt you, just say it.

      That’s all villagers.

       

       

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    • #3371 Reply

      oludare
      Participant

      Okay my thought about this

      I’d tell him MOST of my secrets emphasis on the most cos he’s still considered my boyfriend not husband

      why are they called secrets if I can’t have them to myself

      I’d make sure not to leave any details out just in case my past comes hunting and I need his help. And me not telling him completely doesn’t mean I don’t have affections for him or something

      • #3379 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        I couldn’t agree less

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3372 Reply

      Kesh.

      Well I feel it all just depends on how connected you both are and what the little secret is about. If it’s gonna hurt then if they find out later, just let them know straight up. But if it’s not gonna cause any form of emotion or physical damage then I feel you should just keep your secret to yourself ALONE.

      • #3381 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        I think all dirty secrets have ways to hurt people.

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3373 Reply

      Toyo

      I think it depends on whether the secret can affect him or us, if it is that kind then I would tell him. but in the situation where my dirty secret is just a dirty secret that can be left in the past with no effect on the present or our future I wouldn’t volunteer that particular information except if I’m asked.

      • #3380 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        @toyo you just read my mind

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3377 Reply

      mbah
      Participant

      @bibiie what if it’s a secret you ain’t proud of and you fear it might ruin your relationship

    • #3384 Reply

      Isy
      • Relationship is usually built on trust. Opening up on ones secret to your significant other is a right step in the right direction. Certain factors need to be considered in doing this:
      • At what Stage of the relationship should you tell your secret. You don’t begin to babble about the dirty thing(s) you did, to someone you just met and don’t know yet or who doesn’t understand you. Allow time to build trust in the relationship, perhaps at the stage you “spell” marriage or the question of marriage is popped. Discuss it when your relationship is solid.
      • Understand the character of the partner you are dealing with. Study them well to know if they can contain the secret you are about to reveal. You don’t to tell it to someone who will broadcast you on CNN or who is not mature to handle the impact it might have on them.
      • In revealing, choose your words and phrases carefully. Do not paint it so black or s red. This is to reduce its impact. At the same time, don’t lie about it -be honest. ‘Discuss’ don’t just ‘say it’. While, doing this, observe his/her reaction and body language. Know what their body language is saying to you.
      • #3467 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        Your points are clear and I love them. Thank you. But In lay man’s terms. Should you or should you not tell your partner your dirty secrets.

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3423 Reply

      hisxcellencie
      Participant

      Secrets are secrets!! Should be kept so.

      • #3468 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        The good or bad. Wait are there even good secrets ? Most times people do good stuff and are loud about them.

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3465 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      <p style=”text-align: left;”>Well, every mistake comes with a price except by God’s grace… You can only hope God has your back. You decide not to let it out karma comes for you honey???? @mbah</p>

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    • #3466 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      @ema12 @enibee what do you think?

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    • #3497 Reply

      febisola-5
      Participant

      I’d say you tell your partner everything????, because there’s no point keeping secrets… but only after:

      . Trust has been built on an extremely solid foundation.

      . You’re very sure preach other’s affection

      And truthfully, if thev love is really there, your partner won’t leave for that reason… especially since it’s past.

      In fact, I think that’s sort of a way to know if your eventual marriage will last…. because marriage is all or nothing.

      • #3498 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        I love your points but, let’s just say your partner tells you he used to be a pedophile. Would you still date him or her ?

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3501 Reply

      febisola-5
      Participant

      ????????????..  Good one. Okay… so at first, honestly, I’d be creeped out because.. that’s just weird. But the truth is he “used” to be a pedophile, he “is” not a pedophile. It was all a part of a past he’s not proud of. We’ve all done things we aren’t really proud to say out loud. It would even be easier for me to forget about and totally understand if God played a huge part of his change.. then, I won’t have anything to worry about because we’ll both be spiritually strong and move on.

      Besides, theres no point living in the past. Love lives for the present and the future.

    • #3502 Reply

      justseyi
      Keymaster

      The past shapes the future still i get and appreciate your points.

      •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

    • #3510 Reply

      bibiiee
      Participant

      Not all past shapes your future, It’s the one you let that does @justseyi

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      • #3511 Reply

        justseyi
        Keymaster

        Okay point taken. But I stand on the fact that there are always fragments of ones past in the future. Except there is a religious input. Besides that I fear now

        •poet•book worm•proud Villager• •jesus culture•

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